Dear Michelle,

My husband wants me to peg him but I'm not keen. Suggestions? Meg

What a great concept to be getting my head around as I eat my morning Vita Brits Meg.

I can't help but wonder though, why would you not? I mean, who doesn't want to give it up the arse to their beloved? I'd be racing to that finish line!

A part of me knows that I'm a terrible person for thinking such a thing, but don't you want your husband to feel what it's like to be fucked for a change? (Not that being fucked is a bad thing of course but the role reversal is fascinating)!

Chances are, with all those empathy side effects, it'll make him a waaay better lover right? And it will probably make you a better lover too Meg. Win win!

Sex educator Charlie Glickman argues this one in his essay "How pegging can help save the world" If you are used to penetrating your lovers rather than being penetrated yourself, you get to experience life on the other side!

And American writer and sex columnist Dan Savage has coined the concept of GOOD, GIVING & GAME - an idea that I love!

Yep! My advice Meg is to be Good, Giving & Game - what have you got to lose?

GOOD, GIVING & GAME

GGG is about a way to approach sex - which is with both awareness and an open heart and mind. If you keep these three little words close by, you'll reap the benefits.

GOOD - We don't get good at sex without practice and learning. As Dan says,

"Nobody picks up a violin and plays it perfectly. Human beings and their junk are more complicated than a fucking violin. It's a violin with many orifices and a brain and feelings and opinions."

Yup. We need to do the work and get good at it. Read books. Attend workshops.

GIVING - It's so important to give pleasure without always having the expectation of receiving pleasure. Take the pressure off and don't always expect sex to be "mutually explosive."

GAME - Put your hand up for anything. Within reason of course. Being game is approaching sexuality with an adventurous spirit. Be willing to explore your own desires and have a go at exploring your partner's fantasies too - even if they don't do that much for you. Just don't do anything that turns you off.

 

Until next week!

Michelle

Oh! And if you're going down the pegging path Meg, here are our premium peg picks. Don't forget the lube!