Help! There are so many! How do I choose? Which one will work for me?

All valid questions! But it's easy! Here's my sure-fire method of finding the best toy(s) for you and your body.

So what you've got to know is that there are only THREE different types of toys (pretty much). Once you understand THE THREE you will understand EVERYTHING (well almost).

1. EXTERNAL TOYS - for the clitoris and vulva

2. INTERNAL TOYS - for the vagina and rectum.

3. INTERNAL/EXTERNAL TOYS - otherwise known as Dual Vibrators or Rabbits -for stimulation of both the vagina and clitoris at the same time (or rectum and perineum).

1. EXTERNAL TOYS are great first time toys. They're small (mostly), discreet and easy to use. You just apply them to your vulva/clitoris and away you go. They're perfect for when you're having sex and you just need to add a little clitoral stimulation to get you there. Pop them in your handbag, pack them for travel or use a super-charged one for a quick, satisfying orgasm (better than a coffee break).

External toys come in three different shapes.

A. Bullets - for direct, pinpoint precision, discretion and travel.

B. Palm Sized Stimulators - they come in all different shapes and are primarily characterized by size. They fit nicely in the palm of your hand and cover more surface area than bullets.

C. Wands - many are electric (yes they plug into the wall) and others are rechargeable. Wands are generally more powerful than other clitoral stimulators, have a longer handle and are simple to use. They are excellent for power hungry fiends, those with limited mobility, who dislike the feeling of vibration in their hands or want to strap it to a piece of furniture (oh the delight)!

 

 Bullet (left), palm sized stimulator (centre) and wand (right).

2. INTERNAL TOYS are probably the most versatile of all toys. They can be used externally for clitoral stimulation or inserted for other types of pleasure. Curved shapes are designed to reach the G-Spot and prostate, whilst straighter shapes are better for the deeper A-Spot (near the cervix at the back of the vagina). You can thrust with an internal vibrator, use it with a partner for some added excitement or for the health benefits of reducing internal pain, or for dilation.

Internal toys are usually either:

1. Soft and flexible - perfect for a more life-like feeling or for when someone else might be controlling the toy (less chance of them poking it the wrong way)! Ouch!

2. Hard and rigid - loved for their beautiful design and architectural shapes. The harder tip will apply greater pressure to the G-Spot.

Rigid internal toy on left and soft internal toy on right.

3. INTERNAL/EXTERNAL TOYS - 'Rabbits' give the whole 'surround sound' experience. They stimulate both the vagina, with all its internal glory, as well as the clitoris AT THE SAME TIME!!! WHOOH! However, 'Rabbits' are the most loved and the most reviled of all THE THREE. Because, when you find one that fits your body like a glove, it is the Holy Grail. But because our bodies are all unique, the clitoral arm won't always hit the sweet spot and the internal shape won't always be the right fit. That's when knowing your bits well, leads to a better choice. So buyer beware - get the internal shape and size right as well as the length and width of the external arm. Then - hallelujah.

Different shaped rabbits.

If you like to thrust with your toy, then the Rabbit probably isn't for you. Once it's in, it feels better to keep it there, otherwise the clitoral stimulator may grab your pubic bone uncomfortably. The Nova does however, address this problem very well.

Many people get around this issue by using an internal toy together with a separate external toy.

So in conclusion, figure out which of THE THREE will suit your needs right now. Keep in mind that one toy will not do everything that you want it to do (a bit like shoes and coats).

Having said that, I like to think of the INTERNAL TOY as the basic, with a clitoral toy as an add on, and then a rabbit to top it off.

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On top of THE THREE, there are also DILDOS (non-vibrating internal toys), ANAL TOYS (that should always have a base to stop them being sucked up into the rectum - don't use a bullet)!, WE-VIBES for couple sex, COCK RINGS to keep erections stronger and PELVIC EXERCISERS - great for preventing incontinence and prolapse and improving orgasm quality. Fairly new to the market are AIR PRESSURE STIMULATORS that don't vibrate, but use subtle air flow over the clitoris. They work extremely well and are highly recommended. Womanizer do the best quality varieties and Satisfyer offer good, inexpensive alternatives.

So go forth and start building your collection.

  

 The Passionfruit Vibrator Table - now you can shop it like a pro.

NOTE: Sex Toys are unregulated in Australia, which means that manufacturers can put pretty much any ingredient they like in your toy. Some of these ingredients, like phthalates, a plastic softener, are toxic and even carcinogenic. Only buy your toys from a trusted source and choose medical grade silicone, medical grade stainless steel or borosilicate glass.

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